five thousand shades of blue
Wednesday, April 18, 2001
Wack Job Factor: Exceptionally High TodaySince it's not the full moon, I have to think perhaps it's the sunspots.
First we had Laughing Branch guy, dressed like a 21st century version of an apostle, a branch of some kind of bush or something tucked into his sash, and walked through the café rattling a porcelain basin filled with nickknacks and chanting "ALMS", and asking me if I smoke "left handed cigarettes". I said I don't smoke anything. "Not even salmon?" How the heck do you answer something like that? He wandered out and Justin (city front desk guy) escorted him out the front of the building after he started singing "Feeee-gaaaa-rooooo" at the top of his lungs.
Then came Our Next President, or so he thinks. Yes, my friends, he told me allll about how he was going to be the next president, and DEBBIE GIBSON would be his veep. Was wearing a baseball cap with... THINGS sewn to it (I couldn't look at them too closely, but they honestly looked like rubber lightbulbs). Asked for his coffee "cool with fishies added." I have no idea what that means either. He was a little scarier as he went on and on about something or other and occasionally peppering his remarks with how "Debbie was gonna go down on him", yammering on about Jung, and how the Sr. and Jr. President Bushes were murderers... and a whole bunch of other stuff I couldn't understand. I couldn't wait for him to leave and threatened to call security if he didn't.
I swear, I couldn't MAKE this stuff up.
is
this just not enough…?
