five thousand shades of blue
Thursday, May 24, 2001
Suddenly I am overcome with a deep seeded, illogical fear that the people around me are merely tolerating my presence. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm
about to spend the weekend with 1800 people and as always happens in large crowds, I tend to fade into the background, feeling utterly unremarkable and plain. Like it wouldn't (irrationally) surprise me to hear, "We found someone better. Buh-bye."
I'm sure I will have a good time. I always do. It's more like a 'cold feet' reaction before a wedding, than a dread. Hard to explain.
Eyes are tired and scratchy. Not only am I tired, but it's hot, and much particulate matter in the air.
See ya'll on Tuesday, likely.
is
this just not enough…?
