five thousand shades of blue
Monday, October 15, 2001
It has been an altogether strange morning; I came face to face with a raccoon in the darkness of this autumn morning as I was taking out the recycling. It took me a moment to realize that it was not actually a large cat moving along the top of the fence like an unwieldy tightrope walker. Its masked eyes caught mine and I stood there for several moments, frozen. I was fascinated at seeing it so close up, but thoughts of rabies and my cats leapt immediately to mind and I beat a hasty retreat indoors.
The fog is thick this Monday morning, though it was hard to tell until the sun came up. There was the barest of indications watching haloed headlights pass me by at the bus stop, but now it hangs grey-blue and heavy among the streetlights and the trees downtown. Somehow it seems appropriate.
They say now that Oregon is in a full-on recession. I am still stuck in that awful limbo, waiting for some word on the interview from last week, awaiting word one way or another on at least two other resumes. It's hard to bear in mind that it's not me, that it's just an outrageously high number of people looking for work. I am in survival mode and have been for some months now. It takes a devastating toll on the spirit.
is
this just not enough…?
