five thousand shades of blue
Thursday, February 07, 2002
When I was in kindergarten, I distinctly remember thinking that if I held hands with a dark skinned kid (in class, for playtime or whatever), the colour would rub off on my hand. Mind you, I had no negative associations or even subconscious feelings that dark-skinned people are "dirty" or bad... I just thought that, like ink on newsprint, it would come off on my hands. What did I know... I was just 4 or 5.
I admit that I didn't have many multicultural friends, not really by choice; the neighbourhood that I grew up in was relatively white, my school was predominantly white. College was an eye opener to the cultures of the world. I have always tried, when I meet people of colour, to just be myself, which often translates as "trying way too hard", which I'm always afraid might translate on the receiving end into "your colour makes me nervous." In actuality,
I make me nervous trying not to make you uncomfortable. It's often said that the people who have to proclaim "I'm not a racist" are in fact the biggest racists of them all, but really, I'm not a racist. I'm a self-conscious dork.
is
this just not enough…?
