five thousand shades of blue

---

Three little words: Get over yourself.

Stupid ^*%($*%($ Blogger ate my masterpiece of a post.

Long story short: after unearthing portfolio I forgot I had, I made new additions to illustrations. Pretty proud and pleased. Fond memories of lithography class. Loved working with scratchboard. Would my readers (all three of you) care to make suggestions for which pieces might make the best teeshirts, coffee mugs, and/or tote bags?

Little One made an appearance in the backyard again. So cute, so playful.

I have an interview on Tuesday. They seem like nice folks.

Because it's the cool thing to do, here are my BeliefNet results:

1. Neo-Paganism (100%)
2. New Age (98%)
3. Liberal Quaker (91%)
4. Unitarian Universalism (90%)
5. Mahayana Buddhism (79%)
6. Liberal Protestant (78%)
7. Secular Humanism (74%)
8. Bahá'í (70%)
9. Theravada Buddhism (65%)
10. Sikhism (65%)
11. Taoism (65%)
12. Jainism (62%)
13. Orthodox Quaker (61%)
14. New Thought (60%)
15. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (59%)
16. Scientology (57%)
17. Reform Judaism (56%)
18. Hinduism (53%)
19. Atheism and Agnosticism (45%)
20. Latter-day Saint (Mormon) (40%)
21. Conservative Protestant (37%)
22. Orthodox Judaism (36%)
23. Islam (29%)
24. Seventh Day Adventist (29%)
25. Jehovah's Witness (28%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (21%)
27. Roman Catholic (21%)

Hm. Unsurprised am I. :)

Last night was penance in the garden, because the walkways between the raised beds were overrun with this strange, thick grass which must be related to green onions in some way, since their brushing against my shins and forearms causes me to itch something fierce. I happened to notice a little dark patch moving amongst the grass I hadn't pulled up yet, and automatically I say, "Hey Tiger." (Tiger's a neighbourhood cat -- grey tabby boy -- that likes to keep us company when we're outside.) Upon closer inspection, I realized this one's way too small to be Tiger (probably an eight-week-old kitten), and this one's more of a leopard spotted tabby. I rustled the grass at my feet and the little one comes pouncing out, so I grabbed her and picked her up and gave her scritches. She sat contentedly in the crook of my elbow as I scratched behind the ears, and then I put her down.

The entire time I was out there weeding, picking strawberries and tomatos, Little One was out there, bounding through the plants and pouncing on the tall grass, playing in the enormous fennel stalks and skulking amongst the strawberry runners. She was adorable. After I finished, I upended a bowl of dry food (kibbles) onto the sidewalk, and lured her over to eat some. They were a bit soggy because they had accidentally caught a little water from the sprinkler. I sat on the grass and watched the pink on the western horizon intensify.

Finally it got too dark for human eyes to comfortably see (since the light fixture for the backyard is broken), so I had to go inside. I'm sure Little One was slightly disappointed that the ape who likes to play went away. I don't know if the kitten's from one of the litters from the cats down the street (honestly, I'm going to beat those people if they don't get their cats fixed), of if she belongs to one of the new families on the street. I'm seriously tempted to take her, have my vet friend check her out, and keep her inside.

!!!!!

I'm so very pleased that Melanie finally found some gainful employment. It, however, is devastating to realize that it's taken her this many months in Dallas, which is a pretty damn large city, and here I am in tiny Eugene. It doesn't feel like I'm ever going to find anything.

This morning, the woman who does the business news segment reported there's a slowing-down in the purchasing of new homes. Well, DUH. I didn't need a financial analyst to tell me that, when so many thousands of people are being laid off.

Long, tiring weekend. Worked on Saturday. We tend to think of Saturdays as the useless, make-no-money days, so of course I was prepared to sit and write a bit here, do some on-line research (because, you know, that sounds a hell of a lot better than "surfing")... and wouldn't you know it, we have our best and busiest non-special-event Saturday ever. Not that I'm complaining for having a successful day, mind you. I just got a little more physical exertion than I was expecting. :)

For the total "mess with your head" factor: Saturday found me eyeball to screen with the personal homepage of Wil Wheaton. Created, written and maintained directly by WW, himself. I don't think I've ever found a website for a celebrity that wasn't just a PR thing (the only other one I can think of that even comes close is Claudia Christian's site). I have to say, it's a good, funny, honest site. Check it out. =)

I unrepentantly stole these questions from Mollie:

open up your CD player. what's inside?
Rock of the 80s, Disc #4 (featuring Tears for Fears and Men at Work!)

look in your VCR. is there a movie?
Right now there's a videotape with the season finale of Witchblade, which, by the way, kicks the ass of just about anything else all last season, with the exception possibly of Dark Angel. (If you missed Witchblade, you can catch the entire first season Sunday on TNT beginning 10am (e/p).)

if there happens to be music playing right now, what is it?
A song from the aforementioned CD. Happens to be "Wild Wild West" by The Escape Club. So totally cheesy and 80s. Fun to work to.

what are you wearing?
For the record, I have on a sort of sundress. It's sleeveless, with a giant sunflower on the front, and encircling the flower, the words "Wiamea Sunflower - 100% Pure Hawaiian Red Dirt". I just took a shower after getting home from the café, and it feels good to lounge in. The colour (which it gets from actual Hawaiian red dirt) has faded quite a bit since Jerry and Sharon brought it back from Kauai from me, but it's still one of my favourite summer things to wear.

look down -- what's the first thing that catches your eye?
A photograph of my sister's new house in progress. The sky is so intensely blue, it's hard to believe it hasn't been doctored. Looks like a nice, big house (which they will need, since my sister found out she's pregnant with child #3).

After that, the blinking, sleeping eye of my iBook, which is closed for the moment (which I almost knocked off of the desk! Eeeeep!).

turn on your TV if it's not on already. what network is it?
Boringly enough, the local ABC affiliate

look out the window. what's the weather like?
Sunny, partly cloudy, warm. Not too humid, and there's a lovely breeze.

if you were to hit redial on your phone right now, where would it call?
I just did, and I don't recognize the number that comes up on the LCD display. Must have been someone else's call.

say "hello?" out loud. did anyone answer?
The cat just looked at me funny.

what are you planning on doing next as soon as you get offline?
Burning a CD of a client's website for them; taking a digital portfolio to a prospective employer; trying to divine what dinner will be.

Faking letters of support? Bullying a school system?

What's next? Do they start sending hired thugs to beat up old people?

Guess the Dictator / TV Sitcom character is a fun little distraction recommended by Julie and Martha, though I would love to know how the authors came up with the combination of dictator and tv character (not just sitcoms, by the way).

It's fun to play answering questions as yourself, and see who your tv character counterpart is. It pegged me as Rainbow Brite, for some odd reason. Maybe I'll try again.

And courtesy of Zannah: computer error codes t-shirts.

it was the night that would not end...

Not only was there a car blocking the only exit from the parking lot behind the café, but it turns out that the car was 'technically' not parked illegally -- yeah, that 15' x 6' dumpster just fell out of the sky! -- and then come to find out that it was actually a stolen car that had just hastily been dumped there. An hour later, the police escorted us out of the parking lot via Broadway, normally a foot-traffic-only street. I am not sure what suddenly convinced the police to do this, but the irascible old man who kept making highly illegal suggestions about what to do with said car probably had a great deal to do with it.

And I say, Oy vey.

I dreamt last night that...

I was talking to someone about a little boy who had died, and this someone mentioned that whatever had happened to him had happened because of something or someone he'd noticed hiding behind a door in the house. Sometime later in the dream, I was standing behind a little boy (thin, came up to my waist, with a pouf of wavy blond hair) in my parents' bedroom back home and I see him noticing something behind the door. I realize all of a sudden that I've somehow been given the chance to save his life, and I swing the door away from the wall and poke at a long robe/nightshirt/wad of clothing hanging on the wall there and out pops a man, who then proceeds to beat up my sister! So I futilely try to punch him and kick him, and then he goes after my mom as well, but then I wake up.

I think I did end up saving the little boy's life though. I was definitely left with that sense.

The change in the weather yesterday seemed to profoundly affect everyone I knew yesterday. Perhaps the pressure served to put us all off center. Everywhere I went it was like I was a half-beat behind and walking into people, or stuck behind a moron in traffic, or trapped in the shampoo aisle at the store by a very large woman in her mobility scooter (oh, the irony of that little scenario). The humidity and the pressure fluctuations threw almost everything sideways. It was not a pleasant day for me.

The exception being dinner, where Andra and I made chinese pork dumplings and laughed 'til our sides hurt because the wonton wrappers did not maintain structural integrity after being boiled, and the filling kept falling out of them. They were good but before cleaning up it looked as if a pair of toddlers had tried real food for the first time.

The other exception being that the café's connection didn't go down all day. Let me explain that this is the first time in almost 2 weeks it hasn't dropped at all -- thanks to that damned Code Red virus.

I'm wondering if I should be alarmed that the temperature (via weatherbug) has gone down between 7am and now.

It's apparently prog-rock all day on the radio. I feel like I'm stoned and in 1976, except that I'm not. It's very weird.

This news is kind of cool, but in a way, kind of not. (If you've been paying attention you know that I am really deeply interested in Mongolian culture, and within the SCA it is my area of interest.) From a cultural standpoint it seems almost a desecration; from an archaelogical standpoint it will be a much-welcomed treasure trove of information about a transient people. I feel kind of torn.

Yesterday my housemate came home, shaking, crying and smiling at the same tme. She had received a three page letter (actually, a letter and two colour-laser copy pages of pictures) from her half-siblings, who have been looking for her for some time. "If you are the little girl in these photos," they wrote, "we ask you to please get in touch with us. If you don't want us to contact you, let us know that too. We will respect your wishes." She had been looking for them, too, and said when she opened the package at the post office she could do little more than slump back against the wall and slide to the floor in shock. The first words I could find were, "What a wonderful birthday present," for it was her 21st birthday yesterday.

I just heard a song called "The Real Slim Kermie".

Yes, that Kermie. Yes, based on that song.

I am not sure my neurons will be able to properly fire after this experience.

The gall of those Watchtower peddlers to come proselytizing into a place of business. Sheesh.

I thought when the humidity hit 100% and the dewpoint was surpassed, it was supposed to rain. Have I forgotten my science or is the weather just being stupid?

Haircuts seems to be on the wind these days, but I remain steadfast in my long-haired-ness. Hah.

Went to see Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within last night and I have to say, it was a lot better than I was expecting. I was enthralled by Aki's hair (except I thought it wasn't floating around nearly as much as it should have been in zero-g). Dr. Sid was the most amazing animation of all, because he was so modelled and so interesting and so irregular that he looked real. I think once they can get in more random irregularities (the freckles were a nice touch but can we get a crooked tooth?) and get the bodily movements to be less fluid and more weighted with gravity (Aki didn't walk down the gangplank, she glided), it might be hard to tell the difference. Something about the eyes (too dark/glossy) and the teeth (either too far forward or too receded to my eyes, and too darn perfect) kept distracting me. But there were moments in the movie where I forgot I was watching animation.

Then after the credits began I remembered that a friend of mine worked on sound engineering so we watched for his name and cheered when we saw it, even though there were only 5 people left in the theater.

More of the same. The humidity here is atrocious (at present, 89%), and I had a disturbing dream last night that will forever taint my mental image of Paul McCartney. Nothing new on the job front, aside from the additional work I wrote about Monday. A video game maker in town just closed its doors, unleashing about 90 more tech-savvy people onto an already oversaturated market, so I'm feeling very grim about this at the moment.

This freak on the bus behind me this morning kept singing "Solitary Man" (the Neil Diamond song). I have nothing against the song, but after enduring the grating voice directly behind me like sharp pins being stuck into the back of my head, the song is now stuck in my head like Dirk Gently's interdimensional couch.

I was watching a show on PBS the other night.... and after seeing the famous statue at the Peggy Guggenheim Museum by Marino Marini, the Spirit of the West song finally made sense...

Thanks to a complete aversion to the humongous horse pills that most adult vitamins take the shape of, and the complete lack of an over the counter chewable/liquid adult vitamin of equal dosage, I have been reduced to taking 2 Flintstones vitamins a day. I really hope this helps me feel not quite so tired any more.

It's shaping up to be a perfectly Mondayish Monday. I briefly looked over my weekend mail this morning (since I didn't go near my computer this weekend) and notice a possible website job query, plus an update request for another site I had done previously. This would be good for my checkbook, so I'm happy about that. The Big Web Job is still looming on the horizon, but the fellow who kindamaybesorta wants it done is im. poss. i. ble. to get a hold of (and since I have had very bad experiences in the past with clients who don't bother to get back in touch with me after I call them and then claim I never contacted them at all, this does not make me happy). I will probably have to jaunt down to his physical location and talk to him.

But I read Martha's blog about being in Toronto and Niagara Falls, and I am sad because I really wanted to be back east to meet her and Julie on "my" turf.

According to the weatherman on the local news this morning at about 6:10 am, it was already 98 degrees in NYC's Central Park. Do the math. That was only 9:10 am there. That.... is hot. We're supposed to get up to about 96 today. Driving west to the coast, where the forecast is for about 65, is looking really appealing.

A word of caution for users of public terminals: It is not illegal to look at websites filled with questionably-dressed women in provocative poses, but ill-advised and embarrassing to your sorry hide.

Quote of the day:
Sifl: You know about my [x] problems...
Olly: You've got some serious-ass [x] problems!

(where [x] = word of your choice. Sifl and Olly were quoted on more than one occasion during the "Precious Roy" segment, using just about any conceivable word, from "parrot" to "ass".)

So things are not the easiest right now, bills keep pouring in but I have yet to win the lottery or gain the attention of a Bill Gates... but in so many ways I am so lucky. I have my health, I have my family, I have my friends. I even have my cats. While it's depressing, it's impermanent and within my power to affect change. I just wish the changing wasn't so damn trying.

It doesn't help either that the number of tech-sector layoffs in July alone are astronomical. I'm starting to feel a bit like a salmon fighting the current. It's little wonder that new graduates can't find anything either, when they are competing with field veterans who need those jobs, too. I'd take the first thing I was offered at this point, so long as it was bringing in some money.

The third state web job has not begun to interview yet, and they definitely have my application. Keep your digits crossed.

I'm down but not out, and the search goes on. I'm hoping that perhaps I will get a nibble from the other state web job I sent in an application for (the third in total) or for one of the local places I sent in resumes for. Or that perhaps what happened to my friend John will happen to me: that the first choice for the job decided not to take it and they come back to me to take it after all. The biggest problem with Eugene is that they (the Job Market Gods, I suppose) have listed either entry level dishwashers at like $6 an hour, or corporate execs / swiss-army techs at $50K a year. I fall somewhere in between there, and it's tough.

I have decided to take some of my artwork over to cafepress.com and open a little virtual store with my stuff on it. I'll post when that's up and running.

I did have a pleasant weekend. Watched movies on Saturday. State and Main was very funny, and very weird in a good way, with some memorable lines... Fantastic Planet was strange and good as well in a much different way, and I swear the forces behind Galaxy Quest based their blue miner aliens with the fanned ears on the aliens from this movie. Mostly though, I did a whole lot of nothing. And painting (charters for the SCA).

And you know, the authors of the code red virus, and anyone running Microsoft IIS software who hasn't yet fixed the security hole with the available patch, should all be hung by their toenails over a red hot flaming pit. Idiots.

No.

Back to square one. :(

Cainer.com Predictions, Pt. 2

Today: No news is good news, as they say. Which is a concise way of describing that peculiar situation where you are waiting for the result of a decision, and time goes by, and you eventually decide that if the result was bad they would have told you by now, so the result must be good, right? Well, yes, actually. Each day that passes moves your situation closer to the result that you want. I think it's pretty safe to assume that it's all going to work out - but knowing you, you'll wait just a little longer until you're absolutely sure, won't you?

!!!

Honestly. Not obsessed.

I find it vaguely disturbing that Kylie "Kids in America" Minogue played the part of the Green Fairy... and Ozzy Osbourne did the voice. Whatthehell....?

Okay, not that I'm obsessed with a movie I didn't like, but David had some interesting comments on MR. And much more concise about it than I was. :)

Two more things, additionally, about MR (see previous post). I did love the three-dimensional scene of moving through Paris circa 1900. That was really very cool. Also, I forgot to mention my biggest problem with the movie: {possible spoiler!} Satine is dying of 'consumption' and coughing up blood, and she's able to belt out her songs like she did? I find that very hard to believe. :)

Thoughts on Moulin Rouge...

I was dragged to the bargain dollar showing of Moulin Rouge last night. Boy, did that movie suck all sorts of ways from Sunday. What were they thinking? My first reaction was: At least it was only a dollar to get in. My second reaction was: This movie personifies everything I hate about musicals.

I will say that it started out well enough: surreal, loud, bright and shiny, farcical and moving fastfastfast, I was with it until just about the scene where they woo the Duke's money. After that, it felt to me like it started to take itself way too seriously.

I thought the usage of modern music was distracting, as if breaking out into song and dance wasn't distracting enough (which is the main reasons I don't like musicals as a rule). The problem with using well-known (modern or not) music is that a song like "Roxanne" already comes with its own series of personal associations for me, so instead of pulling me into the illusion like a good musical number should, it instead completely shatters it. This could be why some people love this movie: they don't know the music as well. Case in point: Andra, who also disliked the movie, said that she did love the one of the "original" numbers, "Lady Marmalade". I had to inform her that that wasn't original; it was an old disco song retooled, because I remember snickering at the French portion of the lyrics as a teen. I had the associations and found the production amusing as I rolled my eyes; she didn't and felt completely different. Most of the time, the modern lyrics just had me embarrassed and cringing in my seat, hoping and praying it would be over soon. (You know, I'm quite positive that Kurt Cobain is either spinning in his grave or laughing his ass off at the use of a snippet of "Smells Like Teen Spirit". I can't decide which.)

I'm sure there was some point to using familiar, modern music, perhaps much like setting Shakespeare in modern times (like the most recent film production of Romeo and Juliet) so that younger people can feel some connection to it. Moulin Rouge is no such classic, and it may be just me, but I think if one's going to make a musical, one ought to invest one's time in creating original musical numbers! :)

That's not to say I didn't find some of the numbers entertaining and sometimes, like in the case of "Like a Virgin" (and "Roxanne", which I'm sure was not their intention), absolutely hilarious, but only in the sense of a self-contained music video universe. The music that I didn't recognize, and which I presume to be original, I did like a great deal. Seperately, some of the bits worked, but in all, it hung together badly.

I got a general sense of where this movie wanted to go, but it felt to me like they couldn't decide how they wanted to get there. We proclaimed this movie to be either manic-depressive or bi-polar. And regardless of the very nice eye candy, it definitely sucked.

Courtesy of Cainer.com, my horoscope for today:

"You're waiting for confirmation about something. It's okay, it's on its way, and nothing's going to change between then and now, but you're still nervous, and you won't feel better until you've actually got the piece of paper in your hands. You're also worried about what things are going to cost, and where the money's going to come from. In fact, the letter and the money are two different issues, and it will help you handle them if you keep them separate. Taken one at a time they are far less frightening. It's all in your attitude - if you don't let them get to you, they won't."

I can't even begin to tell you how eerily correct this is in a very specific way. I've insisted for years that the man and his network of spies have cameras strategically installed all over the world. This, in my opinion, is living proof! :)

A geeky boy-man with a face full of blemishes, unkempt hair and lousy posture just strolled in here to ask the time. I could not take my eyes off of the tee shirt he wore: Don't fight the feeling -- You know you want me.

It was all I could do not to burst out laughing.

I probably should not squander my Shallow Post Allowance for August so quickly into the month, but, there it is.

is this just not enough…?

i feel

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