five thousand shades of blue

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There are a million brilliant entries in me waiting to get out, but I poise my fingers over the keyboard and my brain goes blank.

to everything

March's full moon brought my sister a baby boy. Little Sammy.

there is a season

April's full moon brought me news of the death of my grandmother.

and a time for every purpose under heaven

Actual headlines from today's paper:

PRINCE TALKS TOUGH WITH BUSH
Okay, I know they're referring to the Saudi Prince, but my first mental impression was, well, a short little black dude covered in sequins.

GERMANY FINDS TINY, AUTONOMOUS GROUPS
... of ... one armed midgets? Poker playing dogs? Actually, of Islamic terrorist groups basing operations out of said country. But you don't find that out until the second or third paragraph.

REPORT SAYS MORE WORK NEEDED TO HELP SUCKERS
Ok, so if you actually read the article, you will find they are talking about suckerfish. As a standalone headline, it belongs on an Onion story.

I finally watched last week's X-Files and I find I am having quite the opposite reaction to most people around me: I feel like I have been emotionally manipulated in the worst way. As I mentioned elsewhere, I felt what happened (trying not to be too spoiler-ish) was a cheap emotional ploy that I'm sure will come back to bite Chris Carter in the ass. Yeah, I cried a bit too, but at the same time I was thoroughly pissed off. I hate when TV shows kill a character just because they can with no thought to the future (and from what I understand, there will be a movie future).

Then again, I just thought of something I hadn't before. During the crucial scene... hands on glass a la Kirk and Spock in Wrath of Khan. And hell, they brought back Spock. Death is never final in fictional universes.

(I can't guarantee a spoiler-free comment environment nor can I remove entries, so proceed at your own risk. :D )

Today has just sucked ass (to quote a friend). Not only is the work needed to be done "ASAP" piling up, but I burned my arm on the espresso machine (note to self: believe it when it's labelled "Caution HOT" in triplicate) but noticed that I managed to split my pants, my best jeans, at the top of my inner thigh (because I have realistic human legs that actually meet in between). I feel like a badass street kid all of a sudden with a quarter sized red spot on my forearm. Yo, woot.

Running, running, running, trying to escape. Outside, dark, ominously lit old mansion, moonlit trees. I am with two friends I haven't talked to in some time, who are confident that putting chain locks on the bark of the tree will keep our would-be captors from reaching us. I am not so sure, and I know I could find them to keep them from finding me, if I only had peripheral vision: I am seeing everything with blackened edges in the aspect ratio of a television screen.

I blame this dream on last night's 24.

In mourning of dearly departed dooce, I add two links who embody bootyliciousness in every way to my other journals list: rabbit (real name, unknown / undiscoverable / Polly?) and gummi (short for sweat flavored gummi, aka Rebecca, who seems to like squirrels an awful lot). Enjoy. Word to the wise: do not partake of liquid substances, lest ye should spew.

A fond yet reluctant farewell to dooce.com. I hope I can find the trail that will lead me to the wonderfully colourful ranting and raving of Heather. I can't even believe that someone would nark her out and get her fired from her job because of her site.

Hope Chuckles is continuing to (not) keep it real.

Well, it was fun while it lasted. After successfully swapping between operating systems over the weekend, I found that when I actually, crucially needed to boot up with 9.1, it would absolutely, thoroughly freeze. I can't not have my classic applications available, so... I cut my losses (perhaps 3 emails total) and will, later today, restore my system folder from backup. Yeay, backup.

Sleepy. Hate long meetings that make my work days 14 hours long.

I was just given an honest to goodness four leaf clover.

Luck, change please?

Seeing as I was backing up my entire system anyway to low-level format my hard drive, I decided to be brave and install Mac OS X on my iBook. Some things about it I heart lots. Other things I don't, but it may just be a case of not knowing where to look in the new system. I'll still be booting up in 9.1 for some time, as the software I use the most won't run under X*, but now I can look for shiny OS X icons and other goodies. (I will definitely need a new hard drive soon, after this.)

(* Technically, not entirely true. It will run under X using "Classic Emulation" -- i.e. loading system 9.1 on top of X -- which slows things down a titch.)

When a pair of merged scripts work together as planned, with minimal testing... Suh-weeeeeeet.

I know I don't do this all the time but it's a subject dear to my little black mainstream media heart. So kiddies, it's Friday Five...

1. What's your favorite TV show and why? There are only two shows right now that I. Must. Not. Miss. CSI and 24. CSI is just a wonderful fictional extrapolation of those true crime forensic shows that I adore(d) watching on The Discovery Channel and The Learning Channel. Which is an extrapolation of my love of mystery and trying to solve puzzles. If I weren't such a wuss about blood, gore, and oh yeah, dead bodies and stuff, and had the patience for the thoroughness that the work requires... I'd love doing the forensic thing.

24 is good for so many reasons. The real-time (kind of; they fudge it a bit) format is part of why I began watching the show, but Kiefer Sutherland is so incredibly good. The whole cast is pretty good too (except for that sniper a few weeks ago. God he was awful). So many plot twists I never saw coming. Frankly, the show is dangerous for me to watch because the suspense and action and plot twists are so good that I'm usually left with a racing heart and an inability to fall asleep afterwards.

2. Who is your favorite television star? CSI's Marg Helgenberger and #2 favourite TV show (Dark Angel) actress Jessica Alba. And their male co-stars, William Petersen and Michael Weatherly.

3. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Sooo many. Donny and Marie, Charlie's Angels, The Love Boat, Three's Company. I credit Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers' with my being able to read at age 3 or 4.

4. What show do you think should have been cancelled by now? I was thinking Ally McBeal, but, well.... Let's go with Herc in Space... er, I mean Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda.

5. What new show do you hope escapes the axe this season? Dark Angel. A third season seems slim at best, and it's a shame because it's such a good show. Though I do miss Herbal. What's up with that? [edited to add, I just noticed the question said "new". Too bad. :)]

A group of street kids, huddled in a circle by the air intake of the building, smoking. I open the door and shout, "Please don't stand there and smoke, that's an air intake for the building." As the work smoke leaves my lips, I smell the distinct odour of pot and for a splitsecond I wish I could let them stand there and keep right on smoking because my mind fills with images of stiff-upper-lip city planners getting a buzz off of the smoke that's being sucked into the building. I imagine them giggling and doing outrageous things to city planning documents and building plans. True hilarity.

The kids leave without arguement and a couple even say, "Sorry." I almost feel like thanking them for the mental picture.

Last evening's meeting went far better than expected, which might have been because the antihistamines I was on were working and nothing was the matter, nothing at all.... Seriously, it went very smoothly and I felt much better when I got home. Well, relatively. I still feel like I'm fighting off some kind of bug, because drainage :P and coughing fits come and go. Orange juice is my best friend and I am pretty sure I'm becoming addicted to NyQuil™ in the evenings (kidding).

It is the glee known as Friday. I had wanted to travel down to Medford tomorrow for some workshops on calligraphy and illumination, but I don't have anyone to go with, I don't feel comfortable driving long distances alone, and, well, I should really just rest (see above paragraph about fighting off something).

Today was one of those mornings where I would have gladly stayed curled up in bed. Would have phoned in sick if I could. I'm not desperately ill, just generally tired. And I have to go this meeting tonight which is bound to feel a lot like cat herding. Feh.

The other day I was scoping out sites to get a feel for what a 20 gig IDE hard drive that would fit into my iBook would cost. In the past when I've needed to replace a drive it's always had to be SCSI interface, and those have always been rather spendy, so I was floored to see how cheap IDEs are comparatively. Mind you, I have zero extra cash for something as frivolous as a hard drive. So, the same universe that granted me MTV2 via antenna apparently thinks it will be helpful by suddenly causing Norton Disk Doctor to freeze up with an "unexpected error" during the media check and refuses to do an optimization because it thinks there's a media error. Okay, Universe, when I said I'd like a new hard drive, I did not mean this week.

Not feeling very talkative lately, because if there's one thing I hate, it's sounding like a broken record.

Today must have been the day they let the morons out of the moron preserve for a field trip into the real world. ARGH.

It's not just a camera, but an artist in its own right! (via midnight inferno)

I've discovered the strangest thing. Since I no longer have cable, I've taken to watching tv upstairs, since it's the only set that has an antenna. On this tv I can get the standard NBC/CBS/ABC, Fox, plus OPB, a couple of wacko religious channels... and MTV2.

MTV2? This was a channel I didn't even pick up on basic extended. I'm wondering if our neighbours have digital cable and somehow we're picking up their feed, but the picture and sound are so clear that I can't believe it's merely bleedthrough.

I have to admit, it's cool. They actually play, you know, music videos.

There is a difference between being anticipatory and being psychic.

The yearly masochistic torture fest known as tax preparation is over. I'm happy because there's actually a refund involved (although the federal will never see the inside of my checking account. Three dirty words: back taxes owed). I'm sad because this means I made so little this past year as to actually have no taxable income.

The nitty gritty of adult life really sucks.

Our local transit system charges self employed a tax, which I think is utterly ridiculous. I'm self-employed with a home office; why on earth would I ever need to use the bus??? (before anyone asks: the café is not considered part of my sole proprietorship business. This is.)

thoughts made manifest

don't want to let one of these rolls slide too fast off the spatula... if it does it will keep sliding and fall behind the oven and get covered with fuzz and dust...

Guess what happened?

Cable has been a constant in my life since I was a kid, except for those years I went to college and it was deemed 'impossible' for cable to be brought into my dorm complex (lovingly referred to as Legoland for very good reason). I have been a week without cable now, and I'm not feeling the loss as acutely as I might have imagined (really, considering some people don't know where their next meal is coming from, I have no right to even call this a "loss"). I did find myself bored out of my senses on Friday and Saturday night, which is when I usually go trolling for bad movies or true crime shows on Discovery or The Learning Channel, but hey, as long as I can still get 24 and CSI, I'm happy. Oh, and Dark Angel too.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if I live to a hundred years I will never understand the logic of lending institutions.

So it was wonderful to get an actual weekend, you know, two days off in a row where I could sleep until I was ready to wake up and not have to crack my eyelids open at the beckoning of a bleating clock. Of course, I was shafted one hour on early Sunday for the "spring forward", a royal ripoff if ever there was one. Is there a functional reason why we still do this? It's not exactly a pleasure leaving for work when it's dark again.

So in rebellion (and to keep me in some semblance of wakefulness) I'm playing my tapes today. Moxy Früvous, Spirit of the West, and the Waltons. But, since I'm several albums behind I'm stuck in the nostalgia of early to mid-ninties. Strangely enough, some songs are still all too appropriate.

You are Hobbes! You're a bit too mellow to be an incarnation of Calvin, but you're still his best pal. You don't mind having fun, though, and enjoy playing tricks on your friends when they least expect it. Take the What Calvin are You? Quiz by contessina_2000@yahoo.com!

Finally got moving forward on trying to refinance the house. Bloody depressing to tally up one's debts. I had stress-induced heartburn the rest of the day. I contemplated taping 24 to watch later but after yesterday, I needed the brain candy. Mildly amused that the episode's writer was responsible for a good bit of seasons one and two of ST:TNG. That explained a lot about the episode.

My waking moments are too preoccupied with trying to play catch up. Like some kind of twisted rollercoaster ride, I vacillate between optimistic and pessimistic a million times within the space of my day. I have so much to so, no time to do it. Everybody wants a piece and there isn't enough. The horizon is lit with beauty and happiness. The trick is to get there.

As is right and proper in celebrating rebirth, we spent yesterday out in the yard weeding, trimming, clipping, snipping and planting. My thigh muscles have been reminding me today that I don't use them nearly enough, but damn, the yard looks great and the side porch no longer looks like white trash central.

is this just not enough…?

i feel

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